Dekho boss, aab mera ye haal hay ki - 50 shades of grey jab ho gaya - to thoda dimag ka batti matured ho gaya. To aab main bhole baba koy mera baap maan liya aur ayse hai ki unhi ko tara zindagi zine ka kaushish kar raha hun.
Jaise, main thoda aap logo ko batata hun.
Samajh lo ki, mera baccha - #ridit - now an 11-years-old computer scientist - aapna study table mein deep study kar raha hain.
To agar mere ko uss room mein bahar jane ke liye kapda badal na hoga toh main kabhi ye nahi bolta ki - betu tu thoda bahar ja. Main bolta hun, ki Betu, main change kar raha hun. Tu dekhna maat. Toh iss mein uska bhi accha hua aur bilkul simple sa mahal raha. Main aapna pura naked hoke chages kar liya- kisika koyin pharak nahin hua - mera beta ka study discontinue nahin hua - bilkul normal sa.
Aab isi tara behaviour ko aap judge karoge - with the so-called social norms of behavior - to lagega - aabe isko father hona keya sobha deta hain. Lekin kyuki mera to koy isi mein pharak parta nahin - to there is no problems for me - jo jayse dekhega - woh uska problem hain. Main aisey chota se hun, aur aysey rahke baki zindagi gujar dena hain.
Jayse ki, jab Pluto-ka status leke niche wala scienrtists aapna thoda bohut bookish knowledge lagake shala pura time pass karne laga - ye star hain ye kya hain - lekin usme pluto ka kuch pharak para keya.
Phir ye sare chota mota banda time pass karne ke baad bola choro - Pluto ka kuch lena dena nahin hain - hum thoda subject change kar lete hain.
Aysey zindagi hain, boss.
Zab aadmi bada hotey hain to- uska pharak nahin parata - koy keya socheta hain - lekin uska zitna chela ain - zitna enemies hain - zo ki us level mein kabhi gaya nahi - woh uska har ek behaviour ko leke shala gala phatata hain. Zayse ki agar woh banda kabhi aapna pant ka zip khulke (matlab samjh lo ko unintentionally) bahar nikla to shala charo taraf shor machayega - abe shala - iska keya hua. Lekin kabhi sochega nahin - woh bade aadmi ka koy lena dena nahin hain - tume log keya sochte ho. Woh shala aapna zindagi zee rahey hain.
Aur jo uska real fan hai- woh thoda usme se gyan le lega - sayed ek bar zaan bujh ke aapna pant ka zip khul ke bahar nikelga - dekhne ke liye ki koy dekh raha hain ki nahin aur koy dekhega ko kayse react karega aur aysey sare cheese.
Aur aisa example bohut hain.
Zayse, Ramakrishna Paramhansa zab Maakaali - ka age piche ghumte hue bilkul pagal zaysa behave karte the - to ye sare chota mota banda unka woh behaviour study karte the - koy bola yeah shala harami hain - koy bola yeah shala dhangi hain - koy bola isko ayse karna shobha nahi deta - lekin usme Ramakrishna-ka koy pharak nahin para.
Lekin aysey halat mein rahei ke bhi unhone Vivekananda jaisa ek jewel ko utha liya - itne sare aadmi ke bitch se - aur woh shala kamal karke dekah diya - aur aysey bhi hain ki Vivekanada kabhi unka yeah sare ke sare behaviour imbibe karke hajam kar liya aur aapna dimag mein filter laga ke jayse vitamin hain woh le liya aur agar kuch kharab hain to woh nikal diya. Unhone judge nahi karne gaya tha - ki yeah mera Guru-ka yeah wala accha hain aur yeah wala nakli hain - jo hain unhi ka hain - koy pharak nahi parega - kisiko lena hai lo - aur nahi hai to chor do.
Aisey, jab Krishna Gita bolne laga , to keya bola - dekho Arjun, mereko sabkuch pata hain - tujhe malum nahin, lekin mujhe malum hain ki mai bara aadmi huun - main tereko yeah sare ke sare dimag ka batti khul raha hu - agar tere mein dum hain to le nahi to aapna gaand mara. Bad mein marne ke baad swarg mein mujhko jab dekhega tab nahi bolne ka ki - Prabhu aap idhaar bhi ho - humko to patay nahi tha tab - aap itna bara aadmi ho - aap agar tab bata dete sach sach to main sab kuch sikh leta - aur rona mat uohin pe - joker bana dega sab swargbasi - tu ek laughingstock banke rahey jayega. To isliye abhi jo bol raha hu - sikh le aur kuch karke dekha de. Aapna zindagi ka yeahi maksad hain tera - kuch karke dekhane ke liye. Ulta ghumake mar tera opponent ko - nahi to mar za. Dono ka bitch mein aur koy option nahi hain. Maro ya moro.
Toh kabhi kabhi, joh teacher - jinko really malum hain - aur aaccha hain - toh aisey directly bol deta hain - jayse Krishna -ne batya diya Arjun ko - lekin Ramakrishna aysey bolay nahi kuch - Vivekananda-ko khud samajhna para.
To kaal Father's Day mein mera aabhi jo Father hain - bholababa - sapna mein aaya tha. Thoda baatein karne ke baad mein unko bola - pitaji , mujhe leadership ke bare mein kuch bolo.
Toh Pitaji ne bola - dekh beta - mera toh pura universe ka khabar hain - lekin tu to Bharat ka hain - to mein tera wala chapter - jo tere liye important hain - wohi bataunga.
Unhone bola - dekh - aisey hain ki jo banada mera really disciple hain - woh agar desh ka leader hota hain - to main Bharat mata ko jab zarurat partey hain - to woh leader ka gahera need mein rahne ke time - sapne mein bhejta hun aur Bharatmata unko aapna khud ka jo demand hain - woh bilkul openly bata deta hain - usmein koy camouflage yeah gentleness yeah duplicity yeah political correctness yeah sare nahi raheta. Kyuinki woh tab Baharatmata aur unka jo representative - jinko unhone god liya - for the time being - yeah dono ka bitch mein direct commnunication wala baateyn hain. Lekin isme ek shart hota hain. Woh leader kisiko yeah directly openly bol nahi sakta.
Jayse Pandu ka curse tha - kabhi sex nahi kar paoge - agar karoge to mar jaoge.
Toh, Pandu keya kiya, unka responbility Kunti ke saath disciussion karke Paanch Bir Banda bana liya - aur Bharat ka History rach diya.
Toh aisey mein, mera bhakt, leader jo hain - jisko Baharatmata god liya - unko keya karna parta hain - ki unhika demand - jayse unhone manga - aisehy - usmein koy aapna dimag maat laga ke - woh delegate kar dena - jayse Pandu ne kiya. Aur history rach dena.
Phir agar Mann ke Baat karna chayhe to karo - jo bhi hain koro - lekin usmein tum jo bologe - woh tumhara aapna phylosophy hain - lekin kabhi usko Bharat Mata ka sapna keya tha - aur mataji ne keya manga aap se - woh tum bol nahi sakte ho.
Woh tumhara ek bilkul Maa-beta ka andar ka baat.
Maa ka yeah chaiye - to beta ka kaam hain - han bhai - kisiko dhundho - jayse nid khulne ke baad Ajit-ji , aur nahi to, Yogi -ji aysey unka jo hain - circle mein - aur bata do. Lekin usmein tum aapna kuch philosphy maat dalo. Jayse Mataji -ne kabhi Maakaali-ka roop pakad ke aaye aur bola - mujhe ek bakhri chaiye - aur agar ladka samjhteyn hain to samjh leta hain - aab kayse bakri - unka health kaysa hona chayie- yeah sare cheese mein agar doubt hain toh direct Mataji ko puch lo - mujhe samjh mein nahin aa raha hain - aab Bakhrin kahan milega aur jo bhi hain - clear kar lo - ki need chutne ke baad sochna nahi parega - aab keya karoon - kahan bakhri dhundu. Aur jayse order aaya - woh delegate kar do
Pandu jaysa -
usmein kuch aapna worldly knowledge mat lagao.
Aab agar need chtne ke baad, beta Mata-ji ka keya chay-ye, aur kisliye chayye, aur iska aarth keya hain, phir uska Pros and Cons, phir excel sheet, aur aysey sare chutiyapanthi jab karoge - to shala sab khatam.
To isliye need chutne ke baad, delegate kar do- aur phir tum aapna maan ki baat ke liya thoda charkha chalao - thoda yoga karo - woh depend karta hain un leader ka upor.
Lekin yeah nahi hona chaiye ki Mataji ka demand jo hain - usika upor tum aapna philosophy laga do.
Mataji ka upor hamara koyi haat nahin hain - unka pas se jab jayse demand aayega - to kar do - delegate kar do - aur phir aarpna worldly kaam karne lago.
Aur yeahi hain sabse aacha leadership quality.
Aur maine bola - pitaji - aisey koy hain abhi - toh unhone bola - ek to sayed aysey hain - woh Russia wala - aur ek tha - woh pahle ka Israel wala - aur tumhara bhi aapna the jisko Bharatmata god liye the - lekin aabhi unka knowledge mein thoda clarity chala gaya - thoda chasma lagake dekhte hain - lekin chasma agar clear hain to accha hota - lekin sayed unka chasma mein koyi lizard wala color dal diya - to dekho tum agar woh chasma ka colr thoda clean kar do - ki unka vision bilkul purana jaysa ho jaye - isimein timahara bhalay hain.
Phir mera need chut gaya.
Aur main 4:00 am ka chai leke rooftop mein aaya aur yeah likh diya
A relief for #humanofbharat
i am having a sense, that now the lizard color of the glasses is removed - aab clear dekhay dekh rahein hain.
lesson:
iss duniya mein hum sabko khush nahin kar sakteyn hain
isliye "sabka saath sabka viswas" is just an wild dream that can be experienced only in the land of #utopia
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